lack of discipline

Two periods of my life so far I have really lost my mind, cool and discipline. Thankfully, both of these times the problem had to do with the loss of a girl so seeing these events from distance they were not as tragic as I was thinking at the time. The interesting part is not about the actual loss but some common reactions I had after it. My motto is that you should understand something in order to overcome it (if it is something that you have to overcome) , to conquer it (if you have to conquer it) and so on. Anyway, these times of retrospection, introspection and consistent questioning are extremely painful and most importantly stressful. During these times I have caught myself getting involved in imaginary silent conversations with the persons of interest mostly expressing my point of view and my questions. These conversations in some sense are like the rubber-duck technique when you trying to fix your programs.
That's what I thought about this questioning progress. However, recently I bumped into a song from the King Crimson that offered me a new perspective to the whole introspection process. I will write some of the lyrics here and then I will try to explain them under my perspective.

it took hours and hours but...
By the time I was done with it
I was so involved
I didn't know what to think
I carried it around with me for days and days
...
...
...
I repeat myself when under stress
I repeat myself when under stress
I repeat myself when under stress
I repeat myself when under stress
I repeat...
The more I look at it

The more I like it
I do think it's good
The fact is..

No matter how closely I study it
No matter how I take it apart
No matter how I break it down
It remains consistent
I wish you were here to see it

I won't deny the healing effects of the process because of the song. I do believe that this technique helps. However, I guess this process does not happen only for the shake of healing. It seems that is a way to express all the remaining affection that still exists. To keep the beloved person closely for a while; just a little more in order not to cross the passage from pain and loss to sanity alone. I do know that am describing a technique (and its motives) that it might be counter to reason; it's not an act of sanity to question/or express affection to the void after all. I guess these times characterized from the lack of discipline; reason is  denotes discipline. I guess that's why the title of the song is Indiscipline